I’ve been thinking about grief a lot lately.
Fortunately it’s not been the grief that you feel because of the loss of a loved one. All of my loved ones are currently healthy or at least relatively so.
But there’s another kind of grief that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.
It’s the grief that comes when things fall short.
If you are friends with me on Facebook, you’ll already know that a week and a half ago, we spent a few days at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital with my 12 year old. She was diagnosed with a heart condition that will most likely put her on meds for the rest of her life and will also significantly impact her ability to engage in strenuous exercise.
Grieving over what’s lost. Grieving that she’ll never be able to do gymnastics. Grieving that she won’t be able to do the annual school 2 mile fund raiser run. Grieving that she’ll be “different” than the rest of the kids at school during PE class. Different is hard in middle school.
We are very grateful that the scoliosis doctor noticed things and caught this. The outcome would/could have been a lot worse. But it’s still an adjustment to things that have fallen short.
It’s also the grief that comes from dreams that go unfulfilled and doors closing.
Any of you who have known me for any length of time know that I’m passionate about kids who have no one else.
In June, it will be 10 years since we brought our adopted kids home from God’s Littlest Angels. It’s been 8 years since I joined the board for GLA and in January it was 3 years that I’ve been working full time on behalf of the kids at GLA. It has been a distinct privilege to be involved in matching people in the 1st world with needs at GLA.
As of May 11, that door is closing as the management at GLA has decided to eliminate my position due to finance/budget constraints. Dixie explained that in the most recent newsletter.
Dreams that I thought God had planned for me are not going to be fulfilled.
There’s grief in that. A lot of it. A lot more than I expected, to be quite honest with you.
So, as that door closes and the grief flows, what does God have planned? I certainly hope and pray that He has good health and a good future for the kids at GLA. They have had more struggles than anyone should and I hope you’ll join me in praying for the kids in Haiti.
What door is God opening for me? I don’t know yet. I’m confident that 3+ years ago, He pushed me out of the mortgage world and into working at GLA. He’s got a plan already lined up.
He’s just asking me to be patient as I wait and search for what that plan is.
I hope you’ll join me in praying for the kids at GLA, for the parents in Haiti who are struggling to care for their children, for those who care for the kids and for the adoptive parents who wait for the kids and that God would heal the grief and open the right doors in the right way.
He’s got a plan with all of this grief and all of these changes.
He might not show us the entire path, but He will light the next step when it is needed.