For many people yesterday was a good day. Invite Mom over for dinner, spend a little money on her and it’s all a good day. (Okay, I simplify).
But for many others, it’s a very complicated day…….
It’s complicated for an adopted child who knows they have another mother somewhere “out there.” But they haven’t met her, don’t remember her, feel abandoned by her, feel guilty for wanting to know more about her, feel like they are rejecting their adoptive mom by feeling that way. It’s a complicated day.
It’s complicated for an adoptive child who has met or remembers their biological mom but can’t really wrap their head around why they aren’t with their “birth mom.” It’s a complicated day.
It’s complicated for an adoptive mom who spends the day being loved and cared for by her family – all while knowing that at least one of her children is think of and trying to balance feelings between her and her “other” mom and will probably have a hard time doing that. It’s a complicated day.
It’s a complicated day for adoptive moms who cherish the time that they’ve had with their adopted child while at the same time mourning the time that was lost when their child didn’t have a mom caring for them – and the scars that those times left. It’s a complicated day.
It’s a complicated day for adoptive moms who have children where the scars run too deep and they are not able to appreciate or give love back to the adoptive mom who loves them endlessly and tirelessly. It’s a complicated day.
It’s a complicated day for those who want to be mothers but aren’t able to. It’s a complicated day for mothers whose children aren’t making the type of life choices their moms would like.
So, it’s a complicated day – so what?
So be sensitive. Don’t ask all of the mothers to stand up in church and make the ones who want to be mothers feel awful.
Don’t assume that everyone is living the perfect middle class life and all is well and totally without struggles. Be open to allowing those you love (or even just like) to express their true feelings and avoid having to wear the mask of perfection that so many seem to think is perfectly okay to wear.
It’s a complicated day in a sin filled fallen world. Do your part to make it a day filled with a little more sensitivity, caring and acknowledgment of the pain in it.
And then it won’t be such a complicated day.