It’s Not Just for Funeral Homes

What isn’t?


It comes at different times and different places.

It’s never the same for two people – even if they are grieving the loss of the same person.

Some of the times are “somewhat” predictable – like your Dad’s 81st birthday that came 15 days after he went home to be with Jesus.

Like the day your daughter became the 2nd Dr. Vanderwell (

Some of them are totally unpredictable. 

Like when you’re having devotions and there’s something that you aren’t clear on.   “I think I’ll ask Dad……”

Oh wait, I can’t ask Dad.   I can’t ask him about that Bible passage. 

I can’t…. 

I can’t……

There’s a lot of things I can’t do because there’s a lot of things my Dad can do right now that he couldn’t. 

Like sit down and talk with John, the author of Revelations.

And ask him what I was going to ask my Dad.   In Revelations 20:11-15, it talks about the dead being judged by what they had done.   What does that mean?

Does “what they had done” mean whether or not they chose to believe?   Because if it means the works they did, isn’t the thief on the cross totally screwed over?   I mean think about it, he was a Christian for maybe 10 minutes before he died?

I think “what they had done” has to mean whether they chose to believe and chose to live for Christ.   It’s really the only way any of us have a chance at Heaven – and I believe that’s what John means.

Hey Dad – can you ask him the next time you see him?

In the mean time, any of my minister or seminary friends who want to chime in with your thoughts, please do so.


Can We Talk?

Welcome to what used to be “Thoughts from an Ordinary Guy” and is being reconstructed into “Can We Talk? – Not Easy Questions with No Easy Answers.”

Stay tuned, more changes will be happening soon.



Posted anonymously from a good friend’s Facebook page.

I posted this four years ago.
A year after I posted this,
I almost quit ministry work.


Because love is hard.


Love perseveres, but to persevere there must be struggle. Without struggle, there’s no need to persevere.

Love is kind, but to be kind, there must be a reason and opportunity to not be kind.

Love is patient, but to be patient, there must be difficult situations to either quit or allow patience to grow.


Love is a journey into unknowns
but we do not journey alone.

December 14, 2013 ·

This morning I woke up asking God, “How do I love people who are purposely difficult and hurtful?”

And in the silence of my heart, I heard the answer. He said, “Love me…yes, love me…love me with ALL of your heart…and as you love me, I will fill you with my love…and my love will overwhelm your fears and strengthen you to see with eyes filled with love for all people…even the ones you think are difficult.”

And tears came to my eyes, because I knew these words were filled with truth and wisdom. And all I could say was, “Ok…I will love you…and I will stay focused on my love for you…and I will trust you to fill me with the kind of love that will remain strong and unbreakable.”