Tag Archives: Adoptive Dad

Why? Another book on Adoption?

I wrestled with that question for a long time.   Years to be exact.  

So why did I decide to write it?   A couple of reasons:

  • Most, if not almost all, of the books that I’ve seen and read are either written by professionals – therapists, social workers, psychiatrists or by moms.   That doesn’t make them good or bad, it just makes them from a different point of view.
  • Many of the books that are written are from what I call “super families.”   You know the type – they have adopted 15 kids from foster care.   Or they have 5 biological kids and adopted a sibling group from somewhere with 6 more.   Those families are amazing.   But they aren’t real.   There are very few people who can do that.   It’s sort of like a high school classmate of mine.   He was in the Air Force, now he flies big planes for one of the big airlines.   What does he do for a hobby?   He runs IronMan Triathlons.  He’s nuts but there aren’t very many people who can do that.

I decided to write the book because I believe there are dads (and uncles and grandpas) who need to know more about what raising kids is like and I hope to share that with them from the standpoint of an ordinary dad.  

It’s a voice that isn’t being heard.   It’s a voice I wish I had heard 10 to 14 years ago.

So I’m going to be that voice.

Stay tuned,


31 Cups of Coffee–What’s That?

So, every day this month (hopefully), I’m going to post on here with an overview of what that particular day’s chapter is about.   It’s only going to be a “highlight reel” or a “trailer” of it – you’ll have to get the book to read the whole thing.

As an adoptive dad, I wish I known then what I know now.   I hope to be able to help more dads (and moms) know “then” so they don’t have to learn by quite as much trial and error.

Stay tuned and if you want me to keep you up to date – sign up on the form next to this post and I’ll keep in touch by e-mail.



31 Cups of Coffee–a Project

I have a confession to make.   First off, for anyone who is reading this but doesn’t know me personally, we have 5 children and we adopted the two youngest in 2004.   That means we started the process in the later part of 2002.   So we’ve been in this “world” for 14 years.

But back to my confession….. If I could describe me in 2002, I’d describe me this way, “Boy was I naïve!”  I thought I had this parenting thing down pretty well.   We had three kids, pretty well adjusted, well behaved and such.   I could handle two more – it would just be a little louder, a little busier but not a whole lot different.

Boy was I naïve!

I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately and then the music group, “Mercy Me” came out with their hit song, “Dear Younger Me.”   I’m not taking any direct material from it, but their song was a guiding format that I decided to use to write a book.

I’m calling the book,  “31 Cups of Coffee – What I Wish My Younger Me Had Known About Adoption – a look back at the last 12 years of adoption.”   It’s going to be a series of informal “chats over coffee” about things I wish I had known.

Do I have it all written yet?   No I don’t.   As I write it, I’ll be posting on here brief overviews of the chapters.   If you want to known more about it and when it will be done – see that sign up form right next to this post?   Sign up there and I’ll keep you informed.

I’m not going to guarantee it, but I’m hoping to have it written and available in time for Christmas gifts this year.

One other thing for now – 20% of what I make on the book will go to the Education Fund at the Apparent Project.   The Education Fund is something I’m spending a lot of time working on during my work days and I believe it will make a huge difference in the lives of those who are working with The Apparent Project in an effort to keep their families together.

Keep in touch, tell others who might be interested and I’ll keep sharing information here about it too.


Tom V